Looking Back

Friday was our 22nd anniversary. To be married to the same person for that long is quite a feat in this day and age, I suppose, but to us, the time has flown by. It doesn't seem like we could possibly be married for that long (we certainly don't LOOK like we could be married for that long :-) ) And yet, in some ways, it seems like there has never been a time when we were without each other.

So true to form, we ended up spending a very quirky, but very fun, weekend together. We don't normally get to spend the entire weekend together because my duties as the producer of our weekend services usually have me working Saturday afternoon/evening and Sunday morning. And if Lyle isn't serving in his ministry, he's camping with his Boy Scout troop or doing work around the house. So it was a real treat for us to actually spend all weekend together, reminiscing and laughing through the past two decades.

Anniversaries make us look back. Back to those two very young kids, so in love and so ignorant as to what life would hold and how immature and unwise we were. Yet, in spite of youth, ignorance, and a supreme lack of wisdom at times, God has brought us to where we are today. No one could have told that young couple all those years ago that this would be the life we would lead nor could they have warned us about all the difficulties, heartaches, and trouble we would encounter along the way (although I think our parents tried). And they couldn't have described to us the deep love we now share or the pride that we have when we watch our children growing and maturing into devoted followers of Christ. Most of it is completely beyond description.

But looking back has its disadvantages: the attack of the "what ifs". What if we had made the decision to stay in the Army? What if we have not bought our first house? What if we would have taken this job instead of that one? What if we had tried going back to school? We'll drive ourselves crazy asking all those questions.

Nope. Instead, I choose to think back over these past 22 years with a smile. Sure, they've been hard at times, especially when we had an over abundance of children and an under abundance of cash. But even then, or maybe especially then, God was so faithful. We had happy children and and everything they needed. And my self-sacrificing husband, who worked two jobs for almost 10 years so that I could stay at home and be the mom he knew our children needed.

And as we are getting ready for the next few years--children flying the coop and all--I know God will make them just as adventurous, just as lesson-filled, just as faith-building as the first 22. Hopefully, even more.

Or is that like praying for patience...?

Scout

We have this dog. His name is Scout, and Scout is a flat-coat border collie mix (probably more mix than border collie), and is about 1 1/2 years old. We rescued him from the Humane Society back in early December--he was timid, quiet, and didn't bark with the other dogs, but yet had a certain sweetness in his eyes we couldn't resist.

It's taken a while, but within the past few weeks, his personality has burst forth in all it's glory. He's the funniest dog (except when he chewed my shoes and the DVD remote)! He runs around with his squeaky toy, pummeling it, fetching it, and holding it between his paws and chewing it while on his back. Or when he wants you to play--he takes on that border collie stance, all the while thinking, I'm sure, "Go ahead, little sheep--just try and run!" Or when he looks at you with that border collie stare, said to hypnotize cows--but just creeping us out. He's hilarious! And he's turning out to be a great dog who just wants to please us, no matter what.

So why am I telling you about our crazy dog? Partly, 'cause I like to brag about him. He's been a nice remedy to a petless home since we lost our well-loved border collie Cassie last July (she was 14). But mostly, because I think that we have a lot in common with the dogs we love when it comes to God. Now, go with me on this:

God rescued us from certain eternal death. We were beaten down by the sin that consumed us, and He had mercy on us. Not only mercy, but great love as well.

So, He gets us home, figuratively speaking. Through His Spirit He cleaned us up, and by His Word He feeds us--more abundantly than we've ever been fed before. We're grateful, but we're still dogs after all--and so we maybe make puddles in the house or we chew up something we shouldn't have. We are disciplined for those things--not to punish us but to teach us how to live. Then we're allowed play--being obedient to the Master by doing good works and bringing peace and joy to those around us--to our hearts' content. All in His presence, basking in His love and forgiveness, and bringing great delight to Him.

My dog has a lot to teach me, I think, about my walk with Jesus.

God's Great Passion

It's important for me as a follower of Christ to be passionate about the same things that Christ is passionate. And as I'm getting older, it is becoming more and more important to me to make sure my passion is aligned with His--and His passion is in seeing people who are far from Him become His followers, which He has called the Church. And the Church's mission is to make disciples of all nations, to be fishers of men.

The Church--the good, the bad, and the ugly of it--IS His passion. No matter how messy it gets. And it boy, howdy--can it get messy! But you know what? God loves us just as much in the messy times as in the "clean", pure times. And He never takes our mission away from us, no matter how badly we botch it at times. Like when we hurt someone's feelings. Or we fail to respond appropriately to someone's pain. Or we don't discipline where it's needed. Or when we are just unlovely. Fortunately for us, God accepts us on the basis of HIS grace and mercy, not on OUR behavior or lack of it.

But I have to admit I struggle with Christians who have no tolerance for the Church because of her shortcomings. Not that I don't believe in pointing out where we've gotten off base, or are in error, or need to change, but it seems that those who have the least amount of tolerance and love also have the greatest amount of criticism and distaste, especially for those in leadership of the Church. They are the ones who say they love God but simply have no use for the Church and don't feel they need the Church to have a right relationship with God.

So this is my encouragement to those who feel that way: 1) Stop lying to yourself, and to others within earshot. (I John 4:20) Check your heart and make sure it's really God you love, and not just the idea of God. 2) Ask God to forgive you for your lack of love for fellow believers--including those whom you think are not doing the job they should be doing (especially leaders) ; 3) Ask God to give you a deep love for the brethren, the kind of love He has for us; 4) Don't be afraid to show that love through serving those around you, which means you may actually have to rub shoulders with real live people now and then. You'd be surprised how rich your life becomes when it ceases to be about you and becomes about God and His people.

First, An Introduction

This is one of those things that I'd never thought I'd do...post on my own (or anyone else's, really) blog. It's not that I'm not techno-saavy or afraid of the cyber world--I work as a graphic designer/writer/producer/techie all day long. But to actually sit down and write about my own musings, the questions I have, the things that I love (or not)--well, that's a whole different world. It's bound to make one feel a little exposed. Me especially. But it may end up satisfying my need to talk (which will absolutely thrill my husband) as well as my need to share what I've learned about life, and love, and God over the last...uh, let's just say, few decades...

But I have to say this is so much easier than old-fashioned journalling. I've tried for years--and I mean, years--to keep a journal (all self-respecting writers journal, don't they?), but I never can do it. Actually, I hate it. My hand gets cramped up trying to keep up with my brain and stream of consciousness, and it just never works. But this may...hmm.

So, for today, I'll just say a couple of things about myself so we all have a clearer picture of who I am: (for your benefit, not necessarily mine...I already know all this stuff.)

Obviously, I'm a woman, which completely colors my world, as it should. I'm probably a very typical woman, except that I can't do crafts to save my life (1st graders have better luck with that stuff than me), and I am not constantly on a diet. Not that I shouldn't be, mind you, but I have simply chosen to ignore the inevitable for the sake of enjoying that bowl of ice cream with my husband (who probably shouldn't have it either, but there really are so few things to truly enjoy in life, right?). I struggle with same things that most women do, I suppose--getting older, finding my place in the world, keeping track of relationships, and wanting to be loved for whom I am. I juggle a full-time job/ministry, a husband, children--though now we're down to only two still at home (one's in the military, and one's out on his own), a house always in need of cleaning, a new dog, a small group Bible Study, and relationships I never seem to have enough time to enjoy. (I really hate that...) But I don't struggle with why I'm here--to bring glory to God and serve Him through the local church.

Speaking of things to love or hate, here's a short, certainly-not-exhaustive list of things I love: old movies, coffee, Saturday mornings on the porch swing, talk radio (Rush & Hannity, especially) roller coasters, cuddling with my husband on the couch, rain (this is beginning to sound like an ad for a date--hmmph!), perusing used book stores (especially really old ones--for hours), America, underdogs, old hymns, naps, country music (the new stuff--not the old stuff), and really great shoes.

Things I hate: cilantro(!), driving in snow, not having enough time to do all the things I want to do, making mistakes, disappointing my family/friends, sushi, injustice, a lack of compassion, moodiness, half-truths (or no truths) and being late (I especially hate it in me!).

But I really love God and His Word, and want more than anything in my life to be called Good and Faithful on that day.

I told you I like to talk--now you know! And hopefully you know me a bit better...